Former WH, now LBS Please Help, close to Give Up

[betheoa]

Hi Sandi,
thank you, being caring of me.
I call on phone about abuse (emergent calling for people in abuse situation), but there was not understanding.
They call me, to separate or go to counseling.
They did nothing about talk to me. does not matter. I will be ok.

So i have text my wife;

me-yesterday spoke with the kids, to see them today.
I do not want to no tell them truth, where i am (been at work). What you think about it?

WW-The decision to lie them is your, do not put me in this..
give me the divorce papers.

me-if you hurry about D file by your self.
Last time when we spoke, we talk to tell them, that we are not able to feel each other happy.

WW-Do not heart my kids
Live as you wish
Cheap trick

Me-They are my kids as well, i do not want heart them.
do not attack me, this approach have to gone.

WW-Stay where you are, and be happy with HER
do not touch my kids

Me-When i come will call, to see them and walk around for a wail.
Think about what you want. I have told you, what i want to tel you.

WW-your word, do not have value, you lie
i think nothing
do not clean your conscience, with the kids

Me-I will not live like this anymore
i will call to the kids, to talk when to see them

WW-i do not tell you how to live
i was very young when you decide to live as you wish
do not put us (WW and kids) in your decisions.

Me-OK, thous type of convos, we already done a lot of them, and there is nothing positive in long term from the convos

WW-you start this convo
i told you do not abuses my kids

Me-when i see them will tell, me have to stay at work long term. When the flat is ready , we will talk again

WW-Why do not tell them the troth, not a lye as always

Me-do not attack me
I am telling you the trout from year, you did not listen

WW-haha i know the trout from longer than you,i listened to you,and you even showed me the trout.

Me- stop whit the BS, i am done to listen BS
When to see the kids

(here she wanted to bring the kids, to the place where i staid. She asked where i live now, how much i paid and much other things. I answered very short, of he questions.

Ме - I will come at 5PM

WW-i will walk out, to not disturb you,i have made special bred for you, it will be for goodbay

Me-i will not come home, will met kids out side

WW-your D8 sow our chat, now i will going to tell them everything, i will never forgive you what you have done on us.

She call me, and told me that she tell the kids that we are separated. She was tell them everything about my infidelity about

When i sow the kids, i ask them what they know, they sad every thing, i ask them do they know why i leaving home, they say yes about mom chat with OM2 (she tell them OM2 is not even a friend, just client).
So i just said, that i see the thing different. I did not ask anything more, i did not was teling them about OM1, or other things.
I will live like this.

When i come back, i send kids to home did not enter.

later WW text me:
ww- I hope, you now respect your self more (as i leave her)
The kids are not OK
You have destroyed this family, be more wise in future.

Me-Do no be offensive
WW - i am not offensive
WW - whay you do not meet me when come with the kids
Me- i have nothing to say to you, everything have been said, from me and from you.

So Sandi, you were right, she went to tell them before me, she tell them tricky trout, maybe even lies (i am not going to ask the kids what WW tell them). She was preparing meal for me (in the past, when she want to show affection and caring, made such a hand made bred). This time i do not take this temp check.


Now i have kind of relief of my self, part of my fear was gone. After so much listening of WW convos, i relay do not want come to her never. I could not believe her, ever to want to be my real woman.

My S10 ask me why i cheat on my Wife, i do not haw to answer. I know why (i do not justify, i know what kick me to be WH,), i just do not know should i talk to him about this at this age.

I am OK. This was relay hard, and of course, there is no why back.
I respect my self doing this, instead of staying at home and to be punish with coldness for the rest of my life, because my past mistakes (i really regret and apologize)
Write soon