Vinald you posted this to Holdingon. Am reading it and thinking I maybe getting to this point with my H. H's feelings and thoughts have nothing to do with me right now, I'm just somebody to blame and I think H is losing some of his wind as I'm not "dancing" the way he likes me to anymore.
Quote: I don't believe it is you being a fixer or trying to control your husband. I think that what is happening to you is what happened to me last weekend.
You are being led to let go of everything. Do you realize what letting go of everything really is? You are not just letting go of your husband, but your future, your dreams and your past. That is a very scary thing to do. Basically, the Lord is telling you that it is now time for you to trust him completely.
He is telling you that you have been praying and asking for him to restore your marriage, heal your husband and so on. In order to do that, you have to be willing to let go of the past, the things that you know, the future that you want and everything. You are scared and rightfully so. I was scared too.
Then the Lord started to show me, that I keep trying to hang onto something that I don't want, something that I use to have, and something that I might have instead of letting it all go and waiting to see what he has for me.
When you take this step of faith that you are being asked to take, you are letting go of everything and the only thing that you have to hang onto after you do that is the Lord and his promise to you. Yes, we think that is what we have done all this time, but until you get to this point you realize that you have only let go of little things here and there. When you do this final letting go, you are letting go of everything that you have been hanging onto.
You are walking into the unknown and telling the Lord that you completely trust him. You don't have anything tangible to hang onto other then what the Lord has told you. It is like learning how to jump out of a plane.
For months you take classes and are taught how to do this. They give you as much information as they can give you and then the day comes when you have to jump out of the plane for the first time. You have to take all that you have learned and trust that it is going to work when you jump.
That is kind of what you are doing now. The Lord has been working with you and teaching you many things and now he is asking you to take that leap of faith and let go of what you are familiar with and do what the Lord has been teaching you to do.
It is very scary, but I can tell you that it is well worth taking the step of faith. For the first time in years, you will not be controlled by what your husband thinks or feels because you know that you will be alright.
You will see things that you have never seen before in a way that you have never seen them. You will have an understanding that you never had before and the load on your shoulders will be so light, you will not know what to do with yourself.
You will also have the assurance that everything is going to be alright. You won't know how, but you know that it will be fine. You will find that the worries that you once had, won't be there anymore. The way that you look at the situation will be completely different.
You will know that you know that you know. There will be know one that will be able to sway you for any reason. There is a peace that is beyond understanding and the things that you once got anxious over, won't bother you.
Take the step and trust the Lord. His hand is reaching out to you, just grab it and go for it.
Laurie
Thank you Laurie and Holdingon.
Boy KK is posing some tough questions isn't she first to me and now to you Holdingon...I read KK's last post to you.
Thanks for reposting Laurie's post. I think I am finally getting to that point to. I have times that I am sad about "losing" H. I miss not being able to have that buddy that would hang out with me. I am sad that we don't naturally just do family things together without thinking about it.
But, I do know that God has a plan for me and for all of us.
Quote: It is very scary, but I can tell you that it is well worth taking the step of faith. For the first time in years, you will not be controlled by what your husband thinks or feels because you know that you will be alright.
I'm working my way to this point! And It is scary making "that step" out of the plane! But, I know deep down that this is what you, holdingon and I have to do! No matter what happens we have to "let go" and let God!
I'm getting stronger everyday. It helps that H is not calling or coming over.
You can do this Cathy! We all can.
thanks for this post, it was perfect at this time in my life! Deb
Cathy, Nik, & Deb....I'm right in there with you ladies. These are great posts and words of wisdom from Laurie. Thanks for sharing. I am trying so hard to jump outta that plane, too. I pray for the courage to help me do this. I think I am starting to feel that peace inside, little, by little. I'm ready
LET'S ALL HOLD HANDS AND JUMP TOGETHER!!! I'm reaching out to all of you. God will be there....he's waiting!!
Yes, Cathy, some tough questions are being asked. From KK, from Betsey, too... putting the old R to death. Moving forward only in faith, yet how to do it?
Your H is reminding me of my H last year... wanting to go, knowing he shouldn't go, not being able to not go. Looking, looking, looking, but not knowing what they are looking for, so taking whatever they find... and yet it is all here.
Mooka, I'd love to jump together... but I don't think that is the point either. I think we all have to make our jump ON OUR OWN... we can see each other when we land.
The scripture from Moses kind of resonates here: Exodus 14: 13-14
Quote: Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.
1. Do not be afraid. 2. Stand firm in your faith. 3. Let the Lord fight this fight, the battle is His. 4. Stop talking, be still.
Wise words.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
When I woke up this morning, I went to snuggle by H and he said "you're in my space" but I just layed close to him and prayed. Then H said to me, after finally getting his boat, "now that I have a boat I could care less" I can't remember what I said, but he didn't answer. I am trying to be quiet now, still. He is talking to me but only in sentences.
When he came home last night he talked to me a little bit about our S, what time S went to bed. I only answered.
He is angry, depressed big time, and everything makes him mad. He couldn't find our lawn guys business in the yellow pages today and was mad about that and said then I'll have to find somebody else won't I!
Is obsessed with my sister getting a haircut not getting a haircut. She hadn't had one for over a year, I did kind of push her towards it finally, and H asked about it again this morning. It has nothing to do with him or his life yet he seems obsessed about her hair. My sister is a little overweight, also, but hey it's her life. It just bugs my H, that if her H leaves her that would be the reason. Her H also had an A on my Sister
He's also obsessed about my brother having not having a girlfriend, not having a life. It doesn't bother me, but my H seems angry about it. My brother has his own business and is very busy, my brother also has his own drinking problem.
I bought a new coffee maker and the old one is on the counter and he says to me today "how long is that going to sit there now" I just laughed and said boy you sure aren't happy and He said "yeah that's right " and responded that he didn't have to take it out on me.
S and I just got back from a movie and H is nowhere around. The door to the garage is unlocked, this is very unlike him not to lock it.
H is on his journey, I have to believe things are being worked out in H by God.
I am watching/observing this whole thing play out. If I didn't know what I know now, what I've learned over these many months, we'd back to where we were before this whole thing started...blaming each other for our unhappiness. Oh H may still be blaming me, but I think he's realizing it's not me, just like I had to find out for myself.
hmmm...was just sitting here thinking. "Why all the secrecy in where my H is going, what my H is doing." Why doesn't he wnat to tell me where he goes? Even if H isn't spending time with OW, just where does he go and what does he do? He doesn't even talk about his drinking buddies anymore, or lately. And, that thought just dawned on me.
Why is everything such a big secret?
I remember when I was a teenager I wouldn't tell my parents where I went or what I was doing unless asked. And then not everything but it was more out of wanting to be independent. So is this part of the teenager in my H, the secrecy?
Absolutely. He's a kid who does not want to be controlled, nor does he want to be asked alot of questions. Even if he's just going to the drugstore for tissues it's his secret.
My H is the same way. He is rebelling. H wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it. Those are his words. If H tells me what he is doing then there is a chance that he will feel guilty and that is the emotion he does not want to feel. The same may be true for your H too.
The less we ask the better. Act like he is acting.
