Sorry you're going through this Tate, my ex and I agreed to most everything in S and D and I thank my lucky stars we had a pretty amicable split. I really feel for anyone going through this AND dealing with a spouse that's trying to take everything including the kids.
Originally Posted By: Tate
Immediate problem is housing...wife would get house and custody unless I could prove she is a bad mom...not sure if that is a good move. I own the house next door as a rental...finances dictate I move in there to save tons of money, ie $100k cheaper house tgan anything on the market. That would put me next door...and ourvparents live on the same street as each other in another city...talk about awkward visits all around.
So questions I have are: what should I be doing in dealing with wife if any glimmer of hope at turning this around, and what in the world do I do about housing?
As far as housing, if you can tolerate living next door to your ex then that sounds like the way to go for the time being. That would make things as easy as this can possibly be on the kids. I have a feeling they'll be popping in to your place all the time, so if you get screwed on the custody arrangement then that is a sure way to see them more often than the finding dictates. It would also make things very easy for them on going to and coming home from school since the houses are on the same bus route. You can always move later if it just proves to be too difficult being next to her.
Regarding dealing with your W, well continue to listen and validate when you get the opportunity, but DO fight for your rights in the D. Validating does not mean rolling over and giving her everything she wants. Fight for as much custody as you can get. Fight for your finances. Neither party is "made whole" in divorce, it's all about compromise. Beyond listening and validating just leave her alone and give her time and space. No pursuit, no contact unless it's kid-related.
