I read your last few posts. I really understand in many ways how you're feeling. It's not fair. The same happened to me - I brought my husband to the US from overseas, supported him for ten years until he got a real job, and do 100% of the work for our daughter. I also adored him and made him feel like a king with elaborate meals from his home country, cards, gifts, massages, compliments, and everything I could offer. Now he's off in our million dollar home living alone with a 26 year old (14 years younger than me) nurse who, according to her facebook page, spends her days in bikinis drinking alcohol and partying. She got to go on the trip to Dubai that my husband promised me. She gets to go to the fancy restaurants and romantic walks on the beach that I never got to do with my husband. She and my husband have all the freedom in the world to enjoy their time I'm at home doing 100% of the work raising our daughter alone. Our daughter was really sick last week and I texted my husband late at night for advice and he didn't even write back. Perhaps he was fast asleep next to his girlfriend or couldn't be bothered. Who knows. But it's not fair for me either. It's not fair to any of us who are abandoned in this way.
OrangeK you mention that you got a TRO from making a dent in your wife's car but don't remember doing it. If that happened it's difficult to know how your actions appeared to your wife or others. What if you really were violent to the point of your wife feeling afraid? I'm not saying that's any reason for her to go have an affair or give up immediately but if you have anger outbursts or lose control of yourself on medication then that's an area for personal growth.
You also mention being on medication for anxiety and depression in the past. If you have a pre-existing tendency to battle these conditions then that could be one reason why it's harder for you to move on than others. Perhaps a psychologist or psychiatrist and not just a counselor would be better for you even though they'll probably recommend medication again which is your choice whether you want to take it or not.
Since your wife has done this to you, you can now conclude that what you and your wife had together wasn't true love. If you work on yourself and find someone someday who can offer you true love then you'll be so happy. It's hard to imagine that when your wife has everything you wanted. I understand because my husband was so perfect in every way. I feel I'll never find anyone who is as attractive and smart and funny and all of those things....it's hard to be optimistic but what other choice do you have? Our spouses chose to leave and we know there's only a very small chance they'll possibly return in the distant future.
I'm trying to improve myself by having a more positive attitude around my daughter, focusing on career and faith, and trying to fix the things that hurt my husband like using a sarcastic tone of voice when I don't believe something he says. I'm sure you have things about yourself you'd like to improve too.
Nothing takes away the injustice, loneliness, betrayal, and total devastation of your life but there's no one to fix it for you. You could theoretically pack up and move to another city, state, or country to get a fresh start. That would be hard since you have a son, but you could take a long vacation. Quit your job, travel for a few months, and come back and get a new job. Your son won't remember someday if you were gone for a short time.
Otherwise we're just left alone by our spouses with no one else able to take their place and we have to stay alive. Our quality of life might be zero but if it's that bad it has to get better someday right?
I don't really know what to say because I feel the same way you do, but I'm trying to change myself because I did a lot of mean and hurtful things to my husband that didn't help our situation.
I hope you keep talking to everyone who will listen and maybe one day you'll find someone who cares more than everyone else who will help you reach a turning point. I have one friend like that for whom I'm grateful because a few months ago I felt just like you and couldn't even function.
