Advice on my Scenario Pt.4

[OrangeK]

"Get out of this mind set. The only way you can win this is by complete NC.

Fake it till you make it."
Ive been NC since Jan 24th.
Not a word, eye contact, a single text/email/phone call.
Nothing.

Its only getting harder, and worse. Faking it isnt making it, i wish it would, but its not. Like i said, others have been doing this for less time with far more success. She trauma bonded me too good. I cant get her out of my head, i would physically purge her out if i could.
I wish i could get selective amnesia, that would be easier.

Although you make a great point about what she would do with the letter, thank you for putting it that way.
I crave that "Oh my god what have I done" from her so bad, i know its unhealthy, but i crave it, like a drug fiend. I try to keep it out of my head, and its so prevalent.