Is this where I need to be silent and let H come through ths on his own? -------------------------------------------------------
Yes! Your h is the ONLY one that can help himself get through this. You need to stop taking the bait when he needles you and you must give up what he definitely sees as you trying to control him. You must let him be and go on with your life, doing things for yourself and your son foremost. If you continue to ask too many questions he will pack those bags and I know you don't want that. He's very much like a terrible teenager.
