[s]No[/s] affair, no feelings...is there hope? III

[44tries]

Been waking up everyday to messages from the W...just how is your weekend, etc. She throws in some temp check questions, but today she has overtly asked if I am dating. I have tried to be vague about my GAL, which is easier now that our communication is over texting rather than IRL. I have implied I am making new friends and trying to see more of the city when she has asked if I am "doing things with new friends". Trying not to give too many details and let her wonder, but I guess the wondering doesn't last long.

I will probably have to respond to her before getting much response here, but I'm trying to figure out what to say. Obviously, I am NOT dating or seeking that out at all. But I don't want to show all my cards, and give her total relief so that she can go back to her own A secure in her position with me as plan B. It's a difficult spot because I do not feel it would be appropriate for me to be dating even if I wanted to, and I think she feels this too despite her decision to cross that line (in secret, which tells you that it is wrong). She is trying to set up this imaginary dynamic where we can just break up like teenagers and go date new people while we are married and living in the same house--the point being to justify her own A and relieve some guilt I'm assuming, but not trying to go down the mind-reading road.

Anyway, if anyone has input, I'd appreciate it. I'll probably just end up being honest and saying something at least a little vague like "Well I'm not actively seeking that right now..." as opposed to some hardline 'no way, that would be wrong' answer that gives her total security. I don't want to play games or lie, and I'm admittedly very bad at being vague and mysterious because I am a very direct, open person. I understand for attraction purposes I need to be less transparent, though.