Gordie
Re: relationship with D20 and w - leave them to it. D20 is a young adult and old enough to have a relationship with w that is separate from her relationship with you.

If she talks to you about her feelings about w listen, do not throw stones at w, just listen to D20 as she pours out her pain and frustration and anger. Hold space for her, as they say. Let them figure out their relationship moving forward.

If w tries to drag you in, make it clear that you respect them both too much to get in the middle, that ultimately you don't feel that will help anyone.

Your w needs to do that work alone. She broke their relationship; it's up to her to fix it.

She's not going to like that, most likely, but too bad.

Well done on doing your own thing.

P.S. Here is a hint: most women do not respect men they can control or push around.
Just. Saying.

#teamGordie xoxoxo

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver