Former WH, now LBS Please Help, close to Give Up

[betheoa]

Thank you Sandi, being next to me now...

3. My further plans, i will ask questions, about how to proceed.

As i already wore, staid in friend hows (the house is empty), next week i will move in another place. Day before yesterday, i went to home to take some clothes, i pick the time where there was no one. I do not know if WW found out if i take clothes, she do not know if i come home any time soon or not. I did not talk to her, yet.

First time when i left for a week (day before i back to home), she ask how the financing were going, how will support her with the kids. we agreed to pay some home bills, the sport exercise and her flue (she drive the kids to school) on her work why. I will keep this agreement for now, to see how the tings will go on.

Tomorrow i want to talk to the kids, to see how are they. If my WW, want to talk to me in front of the, what to do. It will be hurting to den if i refuse to talk to her ...they are not suspect nothing. If we speak with WW, and she ask me where i am, when will go home ...what to answer ....i am thinking of answering
"i will stay out of home until the flat is ready to move there"...
If she wont to see each other to talk to what we are going to do and how....should i met her or it is better to communicate by text.. Should i initiate text her, telling her that i will not go back to home, ask her to think how to deal with the kids....telling them, how/when to see them and so on...regarding her convo to her GF, she wait when i will go home, she do not expect me to stay at another place long therm. She is very convinced there is infidelity from my par now. She was telling to the GF, she not going to tell about our situation to her parents, in her words this will kill them....
can i wait, before telling the kids about "US", that we are going to be separate, to move in the new flat, where they can start recognizance like their new home.
Al this is very scary, i feel so much gild, when listening how she talking to her GF, it is look like so much like WAW, lived in abusive and neglected marriage, GF asked why WW was ton found OM and divorce me in those last 5 years, after my infidelity ...WW explains that she was not filing like woman any more or/and no one did not put her to feel like that way. WW was telling to GF, that she reared that not kick me out/divorce when i convince my infidelity. She was telling that she gave me chance to prove my self, and now she is glad that she do not fall to me again, because i showing her that i am not changed.... So i am a bad guy.

If WW ask me to go back at home, and ask me about my conditions ...what to say? How to stand my self UP, after so many years being, easy going husband (most of the time (nice guy) and last 5 years doormat, except may be last 6 months (when i become more and more standing about my self).
If i look back 2 years ago, when i found out for the first time she have interest in OM, the change is huge. In her and in me.

What to say, if me and WW talk, about our situation, and she asks why i am living?
last time when we talk, i told her that that i do not want to live withe her, because of her behavior (mostly being flirty with OM2), she fight me write there that i finding justification to leave, because she do not doing any wrong. She will clime this, in any further convo ...i suppose.

Sandi i have question.
If just assume, OM1 and OM2 was/are really only friend for her, and she is just flirty with OM2 (not being in limerance), and her behavior is to make me mad. Live like roommates for so long....should i do the same stand up for me, leave, and not go back until there is 100% commitment to me as Man, Father and Husband.

Now i expect her Disrespect/resentment and rebellion to hit the fans. I expect WW to do "Watch me", like you said Sandi, in one of your posts (in your mind "Watch me" to your H), But in my case it will not be underground, it will be put in my eyes, in order to hit my buttons.

Last year, i am seeing her to feel pleasure when i suffer.
So i am going to sleep for a wail. From now on, it will be real "handling" day by day, hour by hour.

Will write soon.
(Hugs)