During this last 20 days, i sow in me "Stockholm syndrome" i felt, slide forgetting about the reality
Yes, I agree. You have been co-dependent on your marriage/children. It may be challenging to start a new life, but you will be fine. Surround yourself with nice people who treat you well. Why stay around people who don't treat you well?
Once you leave the home, don't go back there to stay with the kids. Pick them up, but don't go inside the house. Take them with you, or take them somewhere to play. You need to make an emotional break with that house b/c it triggers past memories and emotions. I think your W will want you to sit with the kids at the house, cook meals, etc. don't ever start doing it. Once you separate, you don't go back into the house, except to get your belongings.
When you are leaving, assure the children you are not abandoning them. Explain that you have another place for them to stay with you. Explain that you and their mother have to live apart, but that you are still their father, love them, and will be in their lives. Perhaps, having a list of activities......or letting them discuss with you some things they want the three of you to do this summer, would help them realize you will be there. Later, when they have bedrooms, they will enjoy decorating how they like it.
You don't have to apologize for venting on the board. Your W tried to reduce you to a bug, but you are a good man, and a good father. Once you remove yourself from her environment and control.......you will grow stronger very rapidly. I have learned it is very important to like ourselves. You are going to like yourself a lot, once you get away from her clutches.
You are beginning to have self value, and you realize you deserve to be happy, respected, and treated well. You realize you don't have to live this way......and you don't want to live this life.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
