If you had not kicked back in the way you had then I think H would still be WH. It is because you did react that it turned out the way it did.
So, if it were me then I would just say 'sure, I might have behaved differently but if I had then I might not be here'
And infidelity, being a f@ck wit cheater scumbag loser breaks trust and breaks an R or M. A new one has to start and atoning done. It's very rare for that to happen. The memory of that cheater pants will stay for a long time, that's a consequence of that Behaviour. If H is atoning and in a way you need him to then that still doesn't make his behaviour right. Its still entitled wassock stuff. So he has a lot to do for the rest of his life to become new H.
You be proud of your reaction, it worked!
And I am not going to say 'trust' or 'let him earn back your trust' because I don't think love and trust are inseparable. Nor complete. You may trust him on fins, driving the kids, to work, etc but may not be there on the cheating thing. It's not all or nothing to me. 12 steps taught me that the two can be separate. It is ok not to trust.
Or to forgive or forget. Your mind is protecting you from hurt by not forgetting.
I have only one thing, love you first (and kids). That's all life asks of you to take care of you.
And yes, it's a tough road.
My thoughts
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
