Advice on my Scenario Pt.4

[OrangeK]

Feeling the weight of all of it today. Not JUST my sitch.
Feeling pretty trapped. I have nothing to look forward to.
I havent had a "Good day" since perhaps my wedding / honeymoon, and now I know that was all fake anyway. Nothing has gone the right way in my life at all, my entire adult life.
I hate to sound like the disparaging drama queen but its the simple truth.
I am broke, my roommate wants me to move out, i have nowehere to move out to, except my brothers TINY TINY house.
I have been stagnant with my financials for years.
I am currently just making enough to pay people i borrow from back each week.
My son has been disobedient, aggressive and violent, argumentative, and flat out rejects my attention or affection. He deliberatly looks away, avoids my eye contact, wont answer ANYTHING i ask him and tells me No, and finds it amusing to defy and harrass me. His mother has brainwashed him to hate me.
If my car broke, id be screwed.
If i had a medical problem, screwed.

I dont have any fight left.
I seriously, SERIOUSLY considered on my drive to work today, that it might be in EVERYONES best interest if i were to just request minimal or no visitation, and leave the area once D was complete.
I feel like i need a new life.
this one was an utter failure, in all regards.

The temptation to flee is huge right now.

Im heartbroken, weary, beaten and defeated, destitute and substantially dissatisfied with every avenue of my life.

Bugging off into the woods for a few years seems altogether more satisfying.