Wife is not who I married...please help

[LoneWlf]

Thanks Steve85,

Just to show you how aware S is. In a recent session where his IC called W and I in so that S can ask W some questions. S first asked W - Why are you looking to break up my family. W said I feel stuck and that dad and I are not on the same page.

Then S mentioned that he has seen great changes in me and that we've become closer. He mentioned that even after working crazy hours I was able to cook do housework and chores. He said that even as his soccer and baseball coach my message was the same.
Have a clear objective or goal. Work hard thru all obstacles giving it 110% and never give up! He looked at W and asked what have you taught me?

She responded by saying , first let me say that I think God wants as all to be happy. I've taught you to follow what makes you happy as long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else. what I want to show you in this relationship is that you keep striving for happiness. I'm not happy here so then I must find what makes me happy.

My S interrupted her and said, let me give you a scenario. lets say you approach a fork in the road. One path is beautiful bright clear full of flowers and sunshine. The other path is rugged dark dreary full of weeds and swamp. He then asked, Why are you choosing the rugged path? W asked him, Why do you say that?

S responds- The nice path is Dad, he's already shown you he has changed to make this family better you know that he wants the best for our family. The rugged path is going on your own not knowing what its going to be like. He then said The lesson you are teaching me now is a bad lesson- What you are teaching me is that in a relationship when things get bad - it's better to run away from the problem. (I was sooo proud of him!!!)

One of the other key points he brought up was that most mothers would do anything to take the pain away from their kids. Why do you create my pain and not only that why don't you take away my pain now that you see me suffering!( at this point he started to break down)

You see I have an incredible S most people at my church constantly remind me of how good he is . They saw him grow up as he attended mass every Sunday with me and W. He now usher along side of me each mass ( W has not been going). He is missing alot of school because he says he feels empty and broken. i mentioned to him that there are alot of kids in the same situation and that maybe even half the kids may be from broken families. He responded - I know there are alot but if you speak to these kids all they want to talk about is how to get the latest Iphone- I want my family not an IPhone.

My hope is that we can minimize the damage this will cause him - to take one day at a time. To try to rekindle the smiles and the laughter.this kid can be quite witty like his dad. He is in IC and has all but quit the church youth group and I had started him on lessons in accounting. He has lost his mojo. The 2 things that are mandatory I make mandatory are school and church -these are non negotiable. How do I get him back-thanks for the help