Hi Gordie, thanks for posting. You had a post that disappeared and I was wondering what you said. So your W has been back for 3 mos? I will def check out your threads.

Originally Posted By: JujuB
Your ex did some pretty sh!try stuff. And yes, he has turned around and made it right. But why are you taking on guilt for reacting to his sh!try behavior? Its natural. It's to be expected. You did nothing wrong. Having moments of anger or detachment is ok because its what you feel. So what if its been a while. If he's done the right thing. You are entitled to these feelings and they are due to his actions. His actions have consequences.

What I'm trying to say, is that you did Nothing wrong. Maybe start accepting yourself and your emotions that are natural.


jujuB, I really appreciate your perspective. Maybe I should clarify that my guilt does not stem from how I felt about his sh1tty behavior, but it is based on some of my own actions in response to the feelings. No doubt he was in the wrong and was for a long time. However, in the last 3 years he has been transparent, remorseful and committed to making it work. I have wavered in my own commitment. I have not spoken much about it here, but I have been selfish and dishonest in more than one way. I am not proud of some of the things that I have done. Am I justified in this because they were in response to a sitch that he created? Maybe. But what I am coming to understand is that it doesn't really matter. I don't feel good about some of the things that I have done or about the impact it has had on him and our M.

Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela