WW in MLC affair and I need advice..

[Natash]

Natash,

Your W timeframe yesterday seems very suspicious. I would not start engaging with her more. You should detach more. IMO if you start to engage her more you are telling your W you are ok with her doing the things she is doing.

Makes sense, thank you. I am not ok with her actions and don't want to give that impression.

I think your W probably bumped into you because she felt guilty and wanted to see if your were upset about her being out the timeframe she was yesterday. She was testing you.

Interesting, I took it as her being pissy and irritated she was running late and she had the get out of my way attitude, you know, but she could have very well been testing me.

GAL, get some new clothes. If you have lost weight, get clothes that fit, shirts that show off your chest and arms. Get a new haircut(change your hair style up). Get some new glasses if you wear them. Get some new smell good.

Thank you for the tips. I recently went to a barber for a haircut, as my w has been cutting my hair for years. I also recently bought some new sunglasses, shoes, and three pairs of pants. I never shop for myself and usually get a pair or two of jeans at Christmas from the W. This year that didn't happen and it felt nice to have some new ones. I know the wife checked them out while they were in the shopping bag. I had set them done (hands full) and when I went back to pick the bag up it had been opened and moved.

Your W is so enamored with what she is doing she don't see your improvements. But the more you change it up and detach she will start to take notice. Dont mention any of your changes to her. Just make the changes and keep going forward. [Quote] Isn't the enamored part the truth!

[Quote]When or if she notice the first thing she will accuse you of is cheating, it's because it's what she is doing. Just look at her smile and keep going about your life. Your changes don't need an explanation to your WW. Let her wonder.

Ah man, this would have been a great response to the day she did acuse me of cheating on her!

While you are doing this, you have to be positive. Read about positivity and how to achieve it such negativity and trying times. Smile and laugh more. At first it will seem fake, but after a while it will become natural.

Thank you for the positivity reading recommendation as that is something I struggle with. I'm going to try to think of it as a game and she is not only the little old lady that is paying for room and board but she is crazy as well. You know, you wouldn't be mean to a little old crazy lady and at times would just have to laugh to not come off as being rude. I look forward to the day it starts to feel more natural so that is something I'll work on.