Is there anything i should try to be doing to slow it down??
The advice on this is not to try to impede the process. Don't help it either, let the WAS take care of it. If she asks you for information then provide it, but don't do the legwork yourself.
I understand the prospect of D is very upsetting, but it's not a watershed moment that means you've crossed into the "we will never reconcile" zone. I personally know several couples that reconciled after long periods of separation and even two couple that remarried after being divorced for years. It doesn't close the door on anything.
The process varies from state-to-state, I assume the 6 months you mentioned is your state's cooling off period? Have you already filed a response to the D? Do you agree on all the terms?
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I have read the stats posted by 25 somewhere on these forums but going back to the same thing, what's there to do for her to get out of the fog.
I know it's frustrating because you WANT to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING! But the best thing you can do right now is give her time and space. She's on her own journey and will come out of the fog on her schedule. I used to tell people it's like she's starting a marathon and you want to drive up next to her and throw the door open and tell her to hop in so you can take her to the finish line. But if you did that, it would completely defeat the reason for her running the marathon to begin with.
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At this point i still plan on being as dark/NC as possible, I don't think i will change anything as far as trying to interact with her. I don't know if this is the correct thing to do or not, but i fear that if i start being extra friendly now she will see it as a big change only because I was served with D papers.
Yeah I think staying dim or dark is the best course of action. That doesn't mean to be cold/ rude/ indifferent, it just means focus on you and leave her alone. No pursuit.
