Quote: Something like "H I WANT to trust you... but you make it incredibly difficult. I need you to do blah, blah, blah for me to trust you. We need trust so that we can move forward..."
Do you have the book After the Affair? It give you some strategies for talking. I know your H is a unique man, but maybe some of them would have an impact.
I do have this book. I don't think H trusts himself right now let alone can he expect me to trust him. By not asking a lot of questions or where he goes/where he's been I don't set myself up to be lied to. No R talks, wouldn't this fall under R talks?
It seems like when I ask H questions flat out, he is honest. I don't know seems to me that if he's still seeing/talking to OW should he report to me? Should he let me know when he's going over there, when he's going out, when he's doing this or that? H doesn't like to be controlled, never has. For the most part I'm comfortable with his comings and going. Maybe I'm too trusting of H or depend on my intuition, my just knowing, where he is just letting him work out his confusion, what he wants..work out OW on his own, work through his MLC.
I would also think if H were really committed to this M again, he would on his own let me know of his comings and goings.
My H maybe unique or different or whatever, but he isn't dumb. He keeps a lot to himself, but at times he's very perceptive and knowing..he's a lot more intuned then he let's on. There have been times when I've said things to him and then went back to clarify...and H will say "I knew what you meant" or "I figured it out"
