Hanging On (Saying ILY Pt. 3)

[mtb1981]

Also, W called about 4 times last night, but I wasn't near my phone. She left a message saying she had gotten a job at the local country club and was supposed to start tonight, and seemed excited. I just sent her a text over lunch saying, "Congrats on the new job..). She immediately replied, asking if she could call me. I told her that was fine. She called and was pretty upset because they told her she couldn't start tonight they needed to run the idea by the board before they could hire her. This isn't happening until Tuesday. She then asked how I was doing, and I told her I was doing fine. She said she called me last night to tell me about the job, because I'm always the first person she calls when she has good or bad news. She asked if we could still be friends, to which I replied, That's not something I'm interested in right now" She seemed confused and said she didn't understand why we had to hate each other, why we couldn't be friends, and do things together with the kids. I told her I don't hate her, that we could still do things with the kids, but I wasn't interested in being friends. By this time, my lunch period was over, so I told her I had to go. She seemed a little baffled and I could tell it bothered her that I didn't want to make myself available to be her friend. And the conversation ended. It may be mind reading on my part, but I think this was the first time she realized that I'm not going to be a part of her life anymore...

I'm not very good at validating, and I'm not even sure I should be validating at this point. But I am considering sending her some sort of validating text about her possibly not getting the job. Maybe "I'm sorry you may not get the job, I could tell you were excited. That must be really discouraging." Like I said, I'm not even sure if I should send anything, but validating would definitely be a 180 for me. Any advice on whether or not I should send the text? And if I should, is that a good message to send? Or do I need to change it in some way?...

Thanks for your input, everyone...