Open the Floodgates

[Coconut]

while sitting here thinking about what I wanted to post, or more specifically how I wanted to say it, I was looking at my signature info, realized that tomorrow is 2 years from BD. Those dates hold absolutely no importance to me, other than when I try and tell people how long I've been separated from ex, I never think about any of them. Seems like a different life.

So after posting my previous post, I started thinking about why I asked her if she was into me.. I realized that I used to do similar things after BD, instead of just living in the moment and taking things as they come, I feel the need to "KNOW", to talk about things. She stopped by to see me unexpectedly, and I asked her if she wants to see me, really makes no sense. In the big scheme it really doesn't matter with her and my R, but I need to try to stop analyzing and just live.

There has been some talk about GG needing to be rescued, and that is my fault because I made assumptions about her while I was finding out about her life. I want to say that she has had a tough life (I don't want to get into specifics) that has forced her to live in a homeless shelter with 4 kids while trying to get back on her feet, having medical conditions that prevented her from working (she's looking for work now), heck the condition made her bed ridden for like 1/2 a year, she has to go to multiple medical appts a week, she doesn't have much money and her vehicle isn't very reliable, etc..

She has all that going on, but she handles her own $hit. She doesn't want to ask for help, she told me that she didn't like that I had to rescue her from the side of the road, and she takes care of what she can on her own. She has been taking the bus to get to places she needs to go, except for when her ex MIL and me offered to run her around that day.

Also, she is very mature as far as in looking for a R. We have talked about 5LL's, Gottman, and she explained to me about the importance of Religion to her in finding a LTR partner, and explained about being equally Yoked in a M (which I had never heard the term). She is open to dating someone she doesn't feel attracted to in an attempt to find a deeper bond. All in all, I believe that of all the woman I know, she is the one most likely to find and have a healthy LTR in the future.

In other words, yes she has baggage, but she does what she can to continue moving forward. She's gone through celebrating recovery program (not for addiction), she gets the medical treatment that she needs, she explores new things to challenge herself and find passion in her life, she home schools her kids because the schools around here suck. After everything she has been through, she gets back up, brushes herself off and takes another step.

Personally, I don't think she needs saving.