My Journey with WAS (Part 9)

[lcause]

M,

I wasn't saying that example as something we should do. Each one of us decides how to live their life. However, I just wanted to write that as an example of how uncertain life can be. Neither one of them expected it to happen that way, but they are all happy it is that way now. I don't see myself being friends with OM either, and probably won't be. But if my XW ditches this guy and meets someone else down the line, then I probably don't see any issues with it. This one cut a bit too deep to prevent me from wanting to accept him as a friend, regardless of how my children feel.

My issue comes mainly from calling people sh1t. Maybe you don't mean that as I take it, because during my T sessions and everything I've read about psychology, I've learned that no one is ultimately a bad person. Most of our behavior is related to our past and people can't really change their emotion regulation without actively understanding how they act and seeking for help. I'd call it an illness (it certainly wouldn't hurt to put each one of us to get a few therapy sessions...). Sure, we can all call people whatever we want, but in my opinion that just feels like taping our own self-image back together as a temporary bandaid rather than understanding that our self-image was only seemingly broken, scratched. We don't have to label people to anything, but to understand that they did not have the right tools to regulate or fix their emotions so they did what they thought was the right thing to do to steer their own life towards the path they wanted it to go.

To be clear, I don't defend people for what they do, but I'd rather attack other factors like schools, social stigma on therapy and so on than the individual people. People can't change and fix their behavior unless they really understand why they feel like they do. I am saddened that we all had to endure these feelings, but at the same time I'm certain all of us can heal if we so want, without labels or temporary ego fixes.