I told her i did not believe that D was the solution to our problems but i would not stand in the way of her happiness.
Good. That's the best approach, you don't want to act like you approve of it but you want to make it clear that it is her choice and you will go along with her choice regardless. Because the reality is it only takes one to divorce anyway. So in not standing in the way you are removing pressure, and if she doesn't feel pressure she won't feel the need to hurry it through.
Quote:
Some days i bum out thinking on how this is my fault, but in reality it was a joint effort, our marriage got to this point because of US, not ME.
Correct. But only you are here. Remember Michele's chapter "It Takes One to Tango".
Quote:
At this point hope has extremely diminished. Now to continue moving forward with myself only, being the best father i can be and let the pieces of the puzzle fall into place as they need to.
Hope is 100% yours. You can choose to have it or not have it. Hope is not controlled by anyone else's actions.
Quote:
Just bumming out these past 48hrs, thinking what could have been done differently> Is DB done for me? What else is there to do. I know it's not over until the ink is dry but I'm so lost right now.
25 posts a statistic sometimes about divorces filed in CA. If I remember right 50% of them never follow through. We don't know if they recon or what as there's no statistics on it, but the point is filing is just one of many steps towards D.
Quote:
When W initially left she said divorce meant nothing to her and that she would wait a year to decide if that's what she truly wanted. Wondering why the sudden change from her? I cant think of what i could have done on my part to push her over the edge per say.
I can't help wonder if your argument with her about D had something to do with it. You can't keep W from taking D to the in-laws, nor should you try and it just makes you look controlling.
Quote:
When i speak of my sitch to people IRL they give me advice to move on, still young and that i can find someone else. All this is soooo easy to say, but i cannot fathom it.
Read the first chapter of DB. Michele explains why people do this, and why it's wrong.
Quote:
This feeling of being an LBS is one of the saddest things one can go through. Still, its a fresh wound and I don't see the other side yet, hoping that with time this will begin to heal and i can be the best ME again.
Yeah it is terrible to go through and it is impossible to see the other side when you're in the middle of it. Just take a day at a time! Don't borrow worries from tomorrow!
