Wanted to post another update (noticed my topic disappeared from the list, so not sure if this even be seen, but here it goes). The change in my wife since last year is dramatic, she is right now back to her old self before MLC hit, and in fact is a more centered, calmer and gentler version of that person. She slowly kept probing where we stood, slowly became more and more physical and affectionate. And she shared a lot of details, how much pain she was in, her state of confusion, how she put it all on my because she could no longer cope. She even admitted how upset she was when I told her I was casually dating someone else. And she admitted she was surprised by her own reaction.
She is very connected to herself and others, no longer "self absorbed," warm and caring, asks questions about me and others and is engaged back with her friends, pets and our house and life. She is the same and not the same, maybe a bit more mature and settled in a good way.
A few days ago she broached the subject of physical intimacy and I left it to her. We have now resumed being intimate after a year, and her reaction was very interesting. Talking about it later she said "wow that was not how I remembered it to be" in a positive sense. And when I calmly said that "no that was pretty much normal for all the years we have been together" she was genuinely shocked.
She is seeing a therapist 3x per week, she keeps saying things like "problem is me, not the place or you," she is growing and healing. I am not letting my guard down, there is a good chance she may cycle a few more times. And even if not she still need a lot of time on her own two feet to fully process this. And we both acknowledge that. And she has said many times now that she really appreciated me living her alone, but not reacting and not living or pushing. She repeats that she always felt safe around me, and even when she felt alone and isolated she always had comfort in knowing I was "out there." She thanks me a lot for everything, even small daily things that would be nothing to even note.
As of right now we plan to spend most of our time together for the next 2-3 months until she will start traveling again. I am cautiously optimistic, but guarded. There is no harm in staying detached and it is NECESSARY that she holds her own space. But our daily interaction is very much as a couple together for 24 year, we talk a lot about everything, laugh, text, dinners, etc.
So here I am, hopeful but ready for another round if it comes around. But my instinct says the next round will be shallower and less long.
