Can I really do this?

[Dtrmned]

Ok.
Just looking for some feedback if I'm looking at this the right way or not and handling things correctly.

I've been working hard on myself, working out, eating better, etc., GAL, detaching, and going dark with NC as much as possible with living in the same house and having kids.

Last evening I had to take my D to the store as she has a dance this friday for a dress. She doesn't have any that fit so it was necessary. W totally knew as we have all been out looking for this a couple of other times. Went to the mall, looked at a few, she tried one on that was really cute (i took a picture and sent to W) she liked it too. Unfortunately, the dress didn't have a tag and we found out it was WAY too expensive. We went to another store, found a very cute dress that she loved that was 1/3rd of the price and came home.

Everything was good until about 8ish. I said I was just going upstairs to read and W mumbled something that I didn't hear as I was walking out of the room. I stopped, came back in, gave her the attention and informed her I didn't hear her. She stated " I just don't like being F$@ck#d with". I sat down directly across from her and asked her what she meant. She said " were you seriously going to buy that expensive dress for our D?". I informed her of how things happened and she of course didn't believe me. Went onto how things were now just so "weird" with me. I'm working out, sometimes twice a day (sometimes I need the morning and the evening release), losing weight, taking care of myself, kind and considerate to our children, etc. etc. etc. She said "why would you do this now?" "I don't care, but I'm just curious". Just told her that I am working on myself and focusing on the children and being who I am. Her response was that it was just a farce and I would go back to my former self very soon. This is not going to happen as I actually am more relaxed and like myself much more presently. MUCH more work to do, but way better than a year or even a month ago. She then said " if you are trying to impress me, or win me back, I am not interested and I don't care" Then she intimated that I might be trying to impress someone else. I did put her mind at east as one of our boundaries of living in the same home is that we were not going to date other people. I told her flat out I would not violate that boundary. That this was just me concentrating on working on me and the children.

She then complained about how I bought a few new clothes. I'm in finance and appearance is important. I didn't buy an armani wardrobe, just a few sport coats, a suit and a couple of shirts. All on the clearance rack to boot. We are tight on money, but losing 25ish lbs and 4 inches off of my waist, my pants look funny and my shirts are HUGE. I don't mind wearing my usual stuff, but sometimes there are important meetings where something that actually fits is needed. Acknowledged her concern and followed through with letting her know why it happened and what I spent. Oh, by the way, she did our laundry and found the receipts in my drawer so she was snooping a little there...Not interested huh?

Her concern on this is that since she started her individual account, I moved over my paycheck to an individual account. The bills are paid, there is a few hundred in our joint account, but she does not have access to what she once did and this is upsetting her. She thinks I am playing her and thinks I am making more money than I am telling her. I have shown her every paycheck so she knows, she just is at that point where anything that comes from me she doesn't trust.

We talked for a few. I was tired from being up with my D all night as she was working on her project and W was tired as well. She did mention, your out there spending all of this and then you ask me to get a job to help? Um, yes! You are going to be getting a job anyway, so why not help now.

We ended the conversation. She is still pissed and thinking I am hiding a bunch of stuff, which I am not.

Questions:
1- Did I handle this correctly?
2- How can I do better?
3- If "she's not interested" why does she care and why is it making her upset?
4- Is this part of the "don't believe anything they say stuff"?

Thanks DB forum!!!