I wouldn't say stupid, we are highly intelligent, but yet driven by base instincts at the same time. After BD I was having crazy anxiety attacks and read up on fight-or-flight syndrome (which was exactly the anxiety reaction I was having). It is just so bizarre that we've evolved well past the need for fight-or-flight and yet when something like BD happens to us it triggers that instinct in us even though our intelligent, logical brain KNOWS it is an unneeded and in fact unwanted reaction. I mean I was there sitting in the same office I had sat in for 10 years, no physical danger whatsoever, and yet my instinct was telling me there was danger nearby and I needed to run. It was so strong that I simply could not sit at my desk, had to get up dozens of times a day and stroll the hall or even outside the building aimlessly (which didn't really help much).
Anyway, my point there is just that our base instincts are not always right. That's the struggle with DB'ing is it doesn't "feel" right, at least not at first. Eventually when you see it working you'll come to embrace it more.
Originally Posted By: dmoy
1 more Q just because I need to get the stupid out of my system.
W is running a half marathon this weekend. She's ran it a few times before but skipped last year. The other weekend she was excited when kids and I came to support her in a local 5k.
Thinking I'm ok with a basic "good luck on your run" text or audio message from me/kids but leave it at that? She's grown accustomed to the support and appreciates it. Just thinking totally avoiding saying anything at all would make me seem like a jerk and I'm trying to get out of the passive-aggressive habits of old me.
Given that she responded favorably last time (remember, keep doing what works, don't do what doesn't work) I would call her and say "hey would you like me to bring the kids by to watch you run?" I think phrasing it that way takes the "pursuit" aspect out of it.
