My thinking was that had the original gift plan worked out, she would have already had it. I suppose saying she's still somehow entitled to it two months later, when she has left and is seeing another man is kind of lame though.
That ship has sailed.
W.r.t the rope. It was indeed a wedding present, and she left the marriage, so (IMO) she forfeited any claim to it. Unless she wants half of it :-)
Me, H-39, W-33 T11, M3 No children Bomb 10/17 - "Not sure what she wants" Bomb 2 12/17 - forced convo it did not go well. W moved out 3/18 OM Confirmed 4/1 D Final 9/27/18
How do you guys suggest handling the W asking for friendly advice? Today she asked me for advice about taking out a small business loan.
I talked with her for awhile (I think it's a terrible idea in her situtation) but ultimately feel like solving her problems is not my responsibility any more.
I gave some good advice then ended the convo, and she came back later and said "what would you do if you were me". - I don't want to get sucked into being her buddy, or normalizing her decisions.
I mean, saying "Ask OM what he thinks" would be appropriate, but too hostile.
Me, H-39, W-33 T11, M3 No children Bomb 10/17 - "Not sure what she wants" Bomb 2 12/17 - forced convo it did not go well. W moved out 3/18 OM Confirmed 4/1 D Final 9/27/18
Also, considering if I should file, since I don't want to (potently) be on the hook for her poor financial decision making.
Me, H-39, W-33 T11, M3 No children Bomb 10/17 - "Not sure what she wants" Bomb 2 12/17 - forced convo it did not go well. W moved out 3/18 OM Confirmed 4/1 D Final 9/27/18
Me, H-39, W-33 T11, M3 No children Bomb 10/17 - "Not sure what she wants" Bomb 2 12/17 - forced convo it did not go well. W moved out 3/18 OM Confirmed 4/1 D Final 9/27/18
Me, H-39, W-33 T11, M3 No children Bomb 10/17 - "Not sure what she wants" Bomb 2 12/17 - forced convo it did not go well. W moved out 3/18 OM Confirmed 4/1 D Final 9/27/18
W Hey! So I think we should figure out a plan for dropping off the dogs /picking them up every week. Originally I had thought that you and I would be able to remain friends but it's pretty apparent that you are not interested in that. That's okay. I'm happy to see you doing your own thing and finding happiness. I am going to take a step back and that means less communication day to day. I feel like the dogs complicate that so I think if we could schedule as much as possible that would be better for both of us. I'm working through next Friday but will be able to take <dog> starting on the 14th.
Me Hey! I had also hoped we'd be able to remain friends. Given the way everything happened, right now I am not interested in spending time together when you are involved with another man. We'll see what happens down the road.
I'm happy to work out a schedule with the dogs.
W The way everything happened? I'm not sure what that is supposed to mean. But regardless, my dating life would be irrelevant in a friend relationship
I have not responded yet. Thoughts are welcome.
Me, H-39, W-33 T11, M3 No children Bomb 10/17 - "Not sure what she wants" Bomb 2 12/17 - forced convo it did not go well. W moved out 3/18 OM Confirmed 4/1 D Final 9/27/18
I was finally able to get it to post by using a online tool to remove any special characters. I'll repost it here, below. Since I could really use some feedback on this latest interaction, temp-check.
So I just had this conversation with the wife.
W Hey! So I think we should figure out a plan for dropping off the dogs /picking them up every week. Originally I had thought that you and I would be able to remain friends but it's pretty apparent that you are not interested in that. That's okay. I'm happy to see you doing your own thing and finding happiness. I am going to take a step back and that means less communication day to day. I feel like the dogs complicate that so I think if we could schedule as much as possible that would be better for both of us. I'm working through next Friday but will be able to take <dog> starting on the 14th.
Me Hey! I had also hoped we'd be able to remain friends. Given the way everything happened, right now I am not interested in spending time together when you are involved with another man. We'll see what happens down the road.
I'm happy to work out a schedule with the dogs.
W The way everything happened? I'm not sure what that is supposed to mean. But regardless, my dating life would be irrelevant in a friend relationship
I have not responded yet. Thoughts are welcome.
Me, H-39, W-33 T11, M3 No children Bomb 10/17 - "Not sure what she wants" Bomb 2 12/17 - forced convo it did not go well. W moved out 3/18 OM Confirmed 4/1 D Final 9/27/18
I would have liked to stay married. I was open to being friends when she moved out, had she no immediately jumped into a new R with OM.
The fact that she waiting until she had an exit affair lined up cost me a lot of respect for her. She may not have TECHNICALLY cheated, but it was by the barest of technicalities.
I don't think I'm emotionally in a place where I can be platonic friends with her. She just moved out a few weeks ago.
Me, H-39, W-33 T11, M3 No children Bomb 10/17 - "Not sure what she wants" Bomb 2 12/17 - forced convo it did not go well. W moved out 3/18 OM Confirmed 4/1 D Final 9/27/18
