Hello.orange, i am kind of caught up on your situation
Listen. You have a lot going for you. You are still young. You have a healthy son, A job. Etc.
Your wife having an affair at this point is a blessing in disguise. She showed you early on who she is. If you are religious, than thank god for giving you this Intel early in your life. Everything haooensnfor a reason.
But right now you need to be smart. Forced no contact was good for you. You will eventually get out of the puppy dog love phase and no contact is the way to do it. If you stay in that phase, it will ruin you.
But right now look at the big picture which is you and your son. Make sure you do what ever is in you and the little guys best interest. Make your decisions and negotiations based on that. Do not make them based on any chance of reconciliation or any crap games she tries to pull (and she will). Stay calm and professional with her. No letters ever.
A big priority might need to be no sleep overs in a strange mans bed? What did your lawyer say about that?
I think a lot of the DB book advise is great for marital problems, but not so great for abusive high conflict divorce situations like yours.
Just focus on a good settlement for you and child and whatever you have to do to get her away fron your life and be grateful shes Om's problem now. Thats a good thing.
You will get through this. You seem like a smart guy. Just stop projecting your beliefs onto her. And change your focus onto what you actually can have an impact on.
