She won't back down, but she'll know when she's wrong. It's sort of unspoken, but we both know she has no more footing, if that makes sense. Her last words just start to look pathetic and childish.
Right!
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Okay, I'm glad you agree this talk should happen. Sometimes I feel like I'm not allowed to talk about anything. I think I can handle it and maybe it will shut down the dance that has been going on.
No, you have to stop seeing R talks as a fixer. This is not the purpose of this talk. I don't think it will stop the dance at all..........at least she's not going to stop testing you. However, you will have said some things that needed to be said as your point of reference in the near future.
Example:
WW: "Are you going to eat? I'm hungry. Be nice and fix my plate and bring to me. I'm in the middle of my show".
You: "As I told you previously, I don't mind cooking when you are working 12 hr shifts, but I am not fixing your plate and playing like your waiter".
You laid the ground work, and now you are following through with it. See?
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So W left today, will be gone for a few weeks. We parted on a good note, no anger or fighting today. Last night, she made a request for one night in the bed but I stood my ground. Told her she was welcome to sleep there, but I would be as well. She said she wasn't going to sleep in the bed with me, and slept in 'her' room. No big fuss. Woke me up early this morning asking if I didn't want to spend some time with her before she left (aka help her pack). I didn't jump, but I did give her a ride to the airport.
Perfect!
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She has texted me several times since, including a message that said "I'm hungry and don't know what to eat." Ha! Even if I wanted to, not sure if I can help with that from another country... these dynamics are so deeply ingrained.
You: "I'm sure I don't know what you want to eat, either". Then put, "LOL".
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
