Don't want to be a wayward wife ...

[Maika]

JujuB - I agree with you. Sometimes we make ourselves jump through amazing semantics to cling on.

Yeh I think there are people who are just bad at this. I mean with the volume of divorces and affairs and all of this, it just makes me believe that we as humans are really adept at f#$#ing this up. However, that becomes a pretty neat excuse because there are tons of us who didn't make that choice.

I wonder how this 'badness' works with WW/WH vs WAS.

In my case, I am not entirely convinced that W is 'bad' per se. I know that she's got a lotta stuff she's never dealt with and didn't have the architecture of being a self-aware and independent person. For that matter, I don't think I was either, but I guess I put some stock in commitment compared to her. Otherwise we wouldn't be here.

So I dunno if she's 'bad' people... I don't want to assign another label to make it sound they're pathetic or pity them in a paternalistic kinda way....

I just think all the $hit that was put under the rug caught up and she wasn't able to handle it all.. and decided that shedding everything including me and the family life was the answer to it.. time will only tell if she was right...

I am also annoyed that I clung for a long time... I just had a breakthrough yesterday and I haven't felt this settled in a long time. I am through and done now.

My W is an anxious stressball with bad self-image issues and now when I look back, it was right there from the beginning - I just didn't see it the way I can see it now.