Don't want to be a wayward wife ...

[mtb1981]

I am a newcomer and I'm finally starting to realize how much of a doormat I've been. And I feel really stupid. To answer you're question of "why does someone want a person back that has treated them so badly?" I think we are all in denial at first. We can't believe that the person we love so much is actually a bad person. We convince ourselves that they are confused and not the real version of themselves. That they can "be fixed" or return back to the loving people we thought they were. In reality, many of them are just sh'tty human beings and we never realized it in the first place. I'm as guilty as anyone on this board for having that frame of mind, but the more and more I think about it, like a previous poter mentioned, my WW is not "in a fog", she most likely suffers from a serious personality disorder that isn't just going to magically disappear. And I've learned that my kids and I deserve better than that. As much as we come here hoping to find a way to save our M, the real value of this board is coming to the realization that we need to love ourselves and stop worrying about our crappy spouses...