Advice on my scenario Pt. 3

[OrangeK]

OK, anger, disgust, frustration. All borne from the same place, and all leads to the same destructive behaviors. Just advice buddy, I know cause I've been there: quit dwelling on external stimuli. Who cares who is the the what stage. No bearing on you. That is what GAL is all about, being happy and pleased with WHERE YOU ARE! Regardless of W, OM, and all your friends.

I wish i didnt care about OM, or what they do with my son or any of that. I dont think the desire to know about that will go away until ive had some contact with WW. i actually anticipate having the "AH HA" moment after ive had a chance to interact with her with my new mindset / attitude. I will not seek out interaction, but i feel like i may be very much repulsed or turned off to her when i do, now that ive seen behind the veil. I could be wrong, so my guard will be up for sure.
I just gotta get through Thursday. I took the whole day off, as well as half the day prior to prepare, unwind, relax and rest.
Im going to walk into that courtroom with the confidence of of a Champion Gladiator.
I. AM. ORANGEK!

Im trying to figure out how to get my brain to shut up about it. Its like a gnat flying around my head. it just wont piss off. Im working on new techniques to keep the thoughts at bay.

When we have too much time on our hands is when we spiral, spin, dwell, and get into these angry, frustrated, and disgusted places.

This is a huge challenge for me. A.) my job allows me a lot of time to live in my head. Very dangerous.
Also my roommate works 3rd shift so, i am often at home, alone, in a quiet house, again allowing me time to overthink.
I have spent this time either on the gym racks, or reading/movies (to escape my head), or playing / planning game sessions. But those quiet dark hours are still my worst enemy.