Good Riddance 2017

[AndrewP]

My ex was a really cold cold person. To be able to just walk away from us. There was never any engagement, or doubts, or late night calls, or anything. That takes this extreme level of detachment on his behalf. And i dont understand how someone could be that empty and attached from the mother of his child?

JuJu - My ex was a loving person until her affair started. Or so I believed at any rate.

She was always selfish and self-centred not to mention controlling but like you suggest in your post, not overtly abusive. I do remember "joking" with her after her affair turned serious (I didn't know) but before bomb-day that our relationship seemed to have a lot of similarities to the classic spousal abuse. She needed to constantly know where I was, what I was doing and with who.

Personally I believe that the coldness in part comes from their own knowledge of what they did regardless of how superficial that knowledge is. Nobody wants to be the villain of their own autobiography. Getting waay out of my expertise - I would suggest that it's a defense mechanism to prevent themselves from feeling the pain of their victim.

It's just i can't let go of my anger at his selfishness and deception. And at all cheaters/betrayals as well.

I think I will always have anger at what was done to me and my family. And I'm OK with that. It has dimmed I think to the point where I could be cordial to her in small doses - not that our paths are likely to cross even with 2 kids and living within 15 minutes of each other. I also try not to be upset at the people around me who "don't get it" and aren't as upset as I feel they should be. 3 years ago - I was just like them. I clearly remember laughing when General Patraeus had his affair with one of his colleagues was on CNN defending him with the argument that "the woman was hot".