Amazona- Thanks for that advice -in my confused state I did not think of that..

RR- God is now my lifeboat that I'm clinging onto for dear life. Scripture says He has a plan for me and needs me to go thru this. I need to fully surrender my will to Him but it's easier said than done.

Andrew- You are headed close to where I am at today. I have done counseling but not recently- it may be time to do it again. In your last post you mention SBJ how can OI access his stitch? Please help..

For all of you here- YOU GUYS AND GALS ARE AMAZING!!!! heartfelt thanks!!

M51 w50
T-20Yrs M-16Yrs
S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up
1 Awesum dog
BD 10/31/17
separate rooms 02/08/18
wife moved out 05/17/18