Today I'm feeling very anxious - i'm not looking forward to my wife leaving. I know i need o stay focused and strong for me and my son. How do you get through the moments of feeling despair?
Well I'm not going to sugar-coat it, it's damned difficult to go through. It's extremely painful. One of the things I really struggled with was constant worry, I worried about all things great and small. Even stuff that didn't make any sense. One thing that helped me was being told to break life down into chunks you can handle. Just get through today. If you start worrying about tomorrow or next week then remind yourself, JUST TODAY and that's it. If that's too much, then break it down into hours or even 15 minute segments. Whatever you can handle. Something else that helped me a lot was just not to give up hope. The more hope I maintained that my sitch would turn around, the easier it was for me to deal with. It may seem ironic considering my ex and I never did recon, but hope got me through the worst of it and by the time I healed, recon was no longer a concern of mine.
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What can i expect once she leaves?
At first it's extremely lonely. You'll see reminders of her everywhere. The bed will seem huge and devoid of life. Eventually you'll start cleaning up and reorganizing and changing things and make the place specifically yours. You'll learn to enjoy stretching out on the bed and not having someone elbow you in the middle of the night or steal the covers. You'll find that without her constantly there, it's easier for you to get out and GAL and focus on you rather than your sitch.
It does get better but you'll need time to recover. Don't rush it, you'll get there.
