Wild ride and now trapped in the Bermuda Triangle

[dmoy]

So after a few days of silence I'm starting to doubt. It's hard to tell when she won't share anything.

Last time (~6 weeks ago) when we talked about stuff, she sent me pictures of the kids later. I apologized for letting my feelings get the best of me and then had a long text convo with her the next day trying to better understand what I had done to her. Ended the convo with something along the lines of "I hope I can be worthy of your love again someday." Immediately I saw a change in her behavior.

Since Monday night when I committed the cardinal sin of ending the conversation where she said she doesn't feel the same way about me and she can't change how she feels, with "good night, I love you" she's been very standoff-ish. She's barely texted, even about the kids. She usually shares something about their day, but today I haven't seen or heard from them since church.

It starts to make me doubt the detach/GAL is right in this scenario because she deals with depression. Yesterday when I dropped the kids off she was all mopey around her house. I went in for ~5 min to help carry stuff in and say goodbye to the kids. She acted awkward the entire time I was in her house, and then when it was time for me to leave, I bounced out the door all chipper saying "Have a great evening" with a smile on my face. She put a smile on her face and said goodnight.

She's very good at grinning and bearing it. She did this for years making it seem like things were good. Most of last spring was this behavior from her. Apparently she wasn't happy, but she'd always put a smile on her face when she came home from work and pretend things were ok. What am I supposed to think when you hide your feelings from me?

Another thing that happened this week with D6 and her doctor appointment. I took her Wednesday. She was having a bad day and spent half the car ride crying (unrelated to the doctor appointment but rather because she left some clay there and we were too far gone to turn back and get it.) I was texting WAW about this on our drive home and even sent her a picture of D6 crying (along with some pictures from the dr appt). Turns out she posted all of that on FB and made it out like D6 hated going to all the doctor appointments and that God hates her because she's sick. This was all made up but it got WAW the sympathy she so desires from random people online. I get that some of that is my fault for not listening and validating. She's made this community of 600+ people on FB that she broadcasts this to all for sympathy and attention. It really makes me sad.

I'm at a loss of what to do. Do I reach out or just leave her be? She was really opening up the past month then I shot myself in the foot. Both feet, perhaps.