Expers Please Help!!! Walk Away Spouse after 6 yrs

[joejoe1]

Nut,

You have to learn how to validate.
It will help A lot if you stop telling her how to feel and what to feel.

Her feelings about the funiture are hers. You can only tell her the reason you did what you did, you can't tell her how to feel and what to feel about what you did. Next time you can say something to the effects of, "I can see how me moving the funiture would make you feel that way, but thats not why I move them." Leave it at that. Stop arguing with her and validate.

Once she hangs up, don't text her right after that. That's pursuit. Learn to leave the conversations first. Say something like, "this conversation is going in the wrong direction, I will call you back when I have cooled off". If she says don't worry about calling her back you say, "ok".

Your actions are pushing her away! She's telling you how she feels, believe her. Validate, validate, validate. She can justify it because its her feelings and not yours. You don't own the rights to her thoughts or feelings. Allow her to have both. You are still trying control her.

You did good by signing those forms. Stop trying explain every little decision you make. Make the decision and keep moving forward. Stop looking back after you make the decision, what I mean by looking back is, you make a decision and then call your W looking for her reaction or try to explain your decision. If she doesnt ask for an explanation dont give her one.