I will do my best to be prepared for the pushback. She is definitely the master as twisting things to make it seem like I'm the bad guy somehow. I don't know how she does it! I need to learn quickly what to do in these situations because I know they are only going to happen more, and right now my default response is to usually become silent and look pissed off which isn't exactly 'strong'. And I definitely don't want to lose any hard earned ground.
No, don't go silent and looked pissed off, b/c she'll know she got to you. She'll know it worked. I can tell you what to do. You become okay at being "the bad guy". I'm serious. Making you sound like the bad guy is one of the cards she plays. She has this deck of cards, and if one doesn't trump or score, she'll play another one. Only you control how you respond to her childish manipulative tricks. She can't make you feel like the bad guy, unless you agree with her. Right? And, you can't convince her otherwise, as long as you are trying to prove her wrong. See, that has been your mistake. You jump when she snaps her fingers, trying to prove you are a good H. It doesn't work that way. In fact, it works just the opposite.
Have you ever wondered why girls went after the "bad boy" type of guys? Well, I don't want to get into it right now, but I garantee you a bad boy would not bring her something to drink or take something upstairs to her.........and she would nearly worship him. There's a lesson there that all men with NGS should learn.
So she twists things around........so what! Don't explain anything to her. If she says you are bad, say, "Yeah, I am a real bad boy". Sound as if you are having fun with it. Remember, act as if you find it amusing when she says this silly stuff.
WW: "You are horrible"! "Don't be surprised if I don't come home some night"! You: "Okey-dokey then". (start whistling)
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I think I did pretty well today. She complained again of a migraine and feeling like crap. I said sorry to hear that and went about my day. She came into the kitchen while I was eating lunch and said something like "O wow, you can make yourself lunch but not me?" I just said "help yourself, there's plenty in the fridge". I kind of wish I had said something a little stronger, though, because it is really ridiculous when she does that. I'm not allowed to eat a meal without serving her as well?? And she doesn't even want to be married to me and still expects this??? Dear lord.
It's b/c you have done this so much that she now feels entitled. I think your response was perfect. Very nonchalant. That's exactly the kind of attitude to show.
Great job on the bike ride! Your W isn't having a breakdown. Her sickness is called "self absorbed". I think you are going to quickly outgrow her. But, we'll wait and discuss it when it happens.
BTW, did she have a lot of questions about the bike ride? And did you keep your answers vague?
Keep up the great improvements!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
