No affair(?), no feelings...is there hope? Part II

[44tries]

Well, I doubt I could top that response! I tend to get too sarcastic.

Hooray! I must be learning

She is going to push back really hard, b/c you have had a big hand in spoiling her. It's always harder to take a spoiled bratt and retrain them. But, it can be done!

I think she will pull the guilt card every time you come back at her with a response that puts her in her place. She'll try to threaten, like she did about the airport. She will come up with new stuff. She'll twist it around to make it sound like you are the one having a mood/attitude........not being "nice enough to cater to her", etc. These are all actions of a spoiled bratt. If you give in, you will lose the ground you gain. Just keep your eyes forward, knowing how she's going to respect you some day. When she stops having this spoiled attitude, I bet the loving attitude returns pretty quickly.

I will do my best to be prepared for the pushback. She is definitely the master as twisting things to make it seem like I'm the bad guy somehow. I don't know how she does it! I need to learn quickly what to do in these situations because I know they are only going to happen more, and right now my default response is to usually become silent and look pissed off which isn't exactly 'strong'. And I definitely don't want to lose any hard earned ground.

When she says something about your attitude, say something like:

"I'm not the one who expects my spouse to wait on me hand & foot".

"I don't have an attitude. I'm just tired of you expecting me to hop when you say frog".

"Am I nice enough to bring you (fill in the blank)? Yes, I am. Will I do it? No, I won't".

(chuckle) "Live with it, Princess".

Perfect! Gonna need to get a box for all these index cards..

I think it may have been b/c you tried to "explain". Let her figure it out.

This makes sense. Much less than my 'usual', but still too much.

Remember it. B/c one day soon, you will have to remind her that you are taking some authority in your life.

I'm not exactly sure what you mean here...are referring to when she pushes back?

She wants space? Next time you are GAL and she's blowing up the phone, tell her, "Enjoy your space".

Great idea

I think I did pretty well today. She complained again of a migraine and feeling like crap. I said sorry to hear that and went about my day. She came into the kitchen while I was eating lunch and said something like "O wow, you can make yourself lunch but not me?" I just said "help yourself, there's plenty in the fridge". I kind of wish I had said something a little stronger, though, because it is really ridiculous when she does that. I'm not allowed to eat a meal without serving her as well?? And she doesn't even want to be married to me and still expects this??? Dear lord.

I took the dogs to the park and then went for a three hour bike ride, which was awesome. I am so happy I am finally getting out and actually seeing the beautiful country I am living in. Meanwhile, W sat on the couch the ENTIRE day watching the trashiest television I can think of. I am actually starting to get a little worried. She is becoming crazier by the day. Manically asked if I was going on the bike ride alone or with someone, said okay I'm coming too (yeah right), followed me outside to smoke a cigarette while I pumped up my tires. When I got back, she physically wiped my forehead and said "No way you could have been riding that whole time, there would be more sweat." This time I did laugh in her face. I couldn't believe it! I promise she was not always like this. I hope she isn't going to have a nervous breakdown or something. She climbed into bed at 8pm and ranted to her iPad like a crazy person for 15min about not turning on, I could hear it from downstairs. I can honestly say she seems downright miserable.