Hi OrangeK, I'm sorry and sad to read about your situation and to think that you and a three year old child are suffering as a result of your wife's decisions. It's unfathomable to me how a mother can do that with a toddler. Normally children are very attached to their mothers at this age and vice versa. I can't imagine spending even one night without my four year old daughter. I doubt it will ever happen. That's so unfair for you to become a single dad while your wife is out living with her boyfriend enjoying her life. This shouldn't be legal. It's so, so terrible.
As you can see on my thread, my husband did something like this two years ago but he came back depressed, saying he'd kill himself, etc.. I was so happy he came back and he made many promises that we'd fix everything but we never did and he's gone again.
I guess your wife will have to hit rock bottom before she considers changing or coming back. This will probably happen when her affair ends and there's no other man lined up for her. Hopefully that'll happen soon so at least some progress can be made.
It must be so hard and extremely difficult to focus just on being a father to your son, but he needs you more than anything in this world and has no control over what's happening to him. He's just an innocent child and what your wife is doing will affect him for the rest of his life, so you basically have to give your son extra love and extra uninterrupted (no texting or phone) play time and extra everything to give him the best shot possible to feel secure and stable. I'm trying to do this for my daughter although sometimes I'm completely exhausted. They need so much at this age!
The good news is you're young and there are plenty of single moms who'd love to find a single dad and when you find a match the two of you can raise your kids together and have the happy family you dream about.
It'd be great if your wife could soon want to fix her life and return and for now you seem to be stuck waiting for her to change, but somehow this will be temporary and hopefully either you'll reunite with your wife or you'll find someone new and still create the loving family that you and your son need.
