Hi All Hope this message reaches out to DBusters Land. I'm at a loss no posts are going through eeeekkkk. I just found you guys and have now lost contact....Is anyone out there
Ok great thanks will do. Yeah read the disappearing threads post. Doesn't make sense but at least the guys are aware of the problem.
I'm soooo ashamed.... read the 37 rules but have broken am breaking them....I'm just so panicked and scared....this is very seriou. Feeling very overwhelmed.
I know I need to breath.... slow down and begin again! Damn this is so hard....H slept in the spare room last night....all my fault....I wanted to talk about our M and he was tired it was 1am in the morning.....I can't sleep anymore...have had insomnia since this all started. He left the house this morning ....stonewalling ....not talking to me at all now. Just ignores me like I don't exist....things are very very bad....I'm losing hope. Feel like his mind is made up - he doesn't want me and I just need to back off and let hi go. I'm exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally just completely done....anyway I just need t get through this day and face all the meetings and heavy load at work. It's a long weeken so I will rest up
My posts seem to go through. I can see your second post.
Last edited by Cadet; 04/25/1811:25 PM. Reason: threads merged
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
No. Husband didnt sleep in the spare room because you dared to have a relationship talk. Husband slept in a different room because he is done with the marriage.
Him being done with the marriage has. Nothing to do with you. Although he will try to convince you it is. Google gaslighting in relationships. Quite honestly, he reads as a selfish narcissist. And im sure more will come out with time.
I am so sorry. But the quicker you accept this the easier it will get for you.
This is a shock to your system. And you are fighting for someone that has directly told you he is done.
I know how much it hurts. But you need to grieve and accept it and stop trying to get him to change his mind.
The control you do have is over yourself. What are you going to do to make yourself feel better? How will you GAL? Think about going no contact for your own sanity. Try getting some Intel and get so e legal advice asap.
Shoo, this is indeed a lot to handle....where do I begin....I've never even considered needing legal advice. I really don't want to go that route. I'm here to look at ways to save my marriage. I guess part of that is also considering that it may not be salvageable.... yikes i honestly can't believe this is happening
Im sorry. For a marriage to work, both people have to be invested. This has been going on for 4 years. For 4 years you have been trying and he has been going out disappearing Right?
This is a forum for saving yourself. Most of the people in here come here because they are so afraid of losing what they know. They want to do anything to save their marriage.
Most of the people on here deal with tons of abuse becausw they are afraid to let go of soneone that is not treating them well. I know i did.
But there is no magical wand or technique that will make someone that doesn't want to stay, stay.
To me, it sounds like you will be better off. Why do i want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you?
You have to GAL. Thats the healthiest thing. Once in a while walkaways see that And come back (usually temporarily) because they are the grass is greener type and only want what they cant have.
If you sit around and mope and beg you look pathetic. If you accept bad behavior people will just dish more of it out. Do you want to be the type of women thats with soneobe that acts as if shes not good enough? Or do you wamt to be someone desirable and loveable to their partner?
. GAL, because life is short and you don't need a disloyal and non committed spouse that prefers partying with younger peopke to enjoy your life... do you have Intel about what husband is actually doing?
Thank you for that. So true Feeling like the reality of this situ is just landing. guess I ve been in denial. Hoping things would change....no I don t have info on what else maybe going on. I ve thought it s just a MLC. Anyway today I m GAL....out under a magnificent sunny sky looking over at the ocean. Sipping a cocktail. Went for a long bike ride. Sadly I m alone.. would be so good to share these moments with someone...I m enjoying it anyway...
Last edited by Cadet; 05/17/1807:11 AM. Reason: restored post
