I’m a classic MNG which I’m ruthlessly trying to work on BUT find it really difficult to stand my ground when other people are involved, if she were to say “me and AP/LO are having Easter Sunday lunch with my boys and play happy families” < this would have had a totally different outcome.
of course she did not say that... she's no dummy... she knows exactly what to say to get her way with you... she still might do the "me and AP/LO happy family" thing... same outcome...
p.s.--it would not have mattered to the 2-year old nephew...
Celebrating my 50th birthday today and talking to you from Rome, one to tick off my bucket list.
Been separated from WW for almost a year and a half and finding peace, boys are good and I'm finally getting back to normal in fact BETTER than normal. Still have contact but is becoming less and less and never any aggression or talk about our situation.
I find myself now thinking about what's to come and not what was and accept the M is gone forever. Oh well I now find myself enjoying the "me" time and being the old Mark! Continue to GAL < massively important and generally being happy smiling more and more.
I eventually realised there is no way to affect the A so why bother! Go out and enjoy yourself continue to be the " Super Dad or Wonder Mum" and don't allow the madness affect you. Life's good.
Take care all.
Mark.
DR'ing started March 2017
Don't blow the last bridge up from fantasy island, act "as if".
Celebrating my 50th birthday today and talking to you from Rome, one to tick off my bucket list.
Been separated from WW for almost a year and a half and finding peace, boys are good and I'm finally getting back to normal in fact BETTER than normal. Still have contact but is becoming less and less and never any aggression or talk about our situation.
I find myself now thinking about what's to come and not what was and accept the M is gone forever. Oh well I now find myself enjoying the "me" time and being the old Mark! Continue to GAL < massively important and generally being happy smiling more and more.
I eventually realised there is no way to affect the A so why bother! Go out and enjoy yourself continue to be the " Super Dad or Wonder Mum" and don't allow the madness affect you. Life's good.
Take care all.
Mark.
I am so happy to read this, what tremendous growth! Congratulations! Have a wonderful bday and enjoy Rome!
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
My 50th is next Friday. If my H and I had been together we probably would have done something exciting but he doesn't acknowledge my existence any longer...
I am saving up to do something wonderful in the future to celebrate and really looking forward to it.
Enjoy your trip
Me 50 H 48 S 23 S 21 D 19 Together 31 years Married 25 years Separated April 2009 Reconciled 2010 Separated September 2017
I read recently a post about us guys and gals disappearing when things get better and how it dilutes the effectiveness of the forum and the advice given, guilty as charged AS
I personally am continually monitoring (stalking) the boards and see very often the same circumstances cropping up time after time and felt it a good time to just put out there my views again about the whole infidelity WS situation and another perceived way of looking at it.
Straight off the bat Im all for the DR principles and have used these to get to a point where I find myself in a better place could be limbo BUT I feel after looking at the boards we all too quickly end our R in D. this is NOT DR or DB divorce busting but also understand can be driven to it which eventually leads to the same result. I feel the Croix of my experience over the 2 years and counting standing for my M is this and its really simple , you cant control your WS or the A.
I really do believe in the process also , Infatuation, bonding, disintegration but all of this is irrelevant as you arent bothered about your WS are you? Your only concern is the rest of YOUR and your children s lives. Time to move on from him,her and get out there and enjoy life. When they come around , Be civil and nice and always a safe place for them to talk if they want BUT UNDER YOUR TERMS. When they pursue D , slow everything down as much as possible, make them do all the work. When they want to fight , Charge neutral, give them no ammunition dont argue just stay strong, confident and classy. Walk away if you feel the anger rising. Eventually youll realise they do this to try and justify having the A dont give them the justification.
Remember theyre spinning out of control emotionally , step away from that and enjoy the time.
You cant control them or the A so why bother
So am still here and still reading.
Mark.
Last edited by Cadet; 06/04/1801:10 AM. Reason: restored post
DR'ing started March 2017
Don't blow the last bridge up from fantasy island, act "as if".
