That being said, if she brings it up again, I'll say "I shut that down. Nothing to worry about."
no bueno, in my opinion... don't say it... to be honest, i don't think she's worried about it...
Also agree that she's cake eating. But she's not the type to say "ok, I'm ready for therapy. Let's do it." So I'm not sure how to bring that up. To me, showing that kind of initiative would be indicative of working on it.
she is not the type to say she's ready for therapy because she is NOT ready for therapy... have you followed hoosjim's situation? his wife wasn't wanting therapy--UNTIL he let her know he was DONE... suddenly, she got herself into therapy--marriage counseling and individual counseling... i was the same way...
i would not bring it up if i were you because she is not yet committed to working on the relationship... you are not in the piecing stage... you have to fully detach... work on that part of DBing... she is not committed, and is not acting like she is committed... until she is, you should not be "committed" as well...
i don't mean you should not be committed to saving your marriage... i mean that you ought take care of yourself--focus on yourself--until that time comes where she is ready to commit to you... really commit to you--not just maintaining the status quo... focus on this aspect of DBing... don't be her beckon-call guy... if she begins to notice, and if she brings it up--come back here and solicit advice from your supporters...
