I think mlc is just a garbage pail term given to very narcissitic people in order to come up with some sort of explanation as to how they were capable of some very cruel actions and behaviors.
The problem with the term is that it makes us liken their behaviors to a disease that they cant possibly help. It gives us hope that as soon as they heal from this disorder all will be good. That they are not as accountable.
I have a feeling this is a very old and divisive debate. From reading hundreds of stories and watching my own wife I believe there is truth to both sides. I believe some of what we call "MLC" is narcissistic people who hide very well until the facade cracks and then their true behaviour just takes over. But I know from my own experience (and reading and talking to others) there are people who are very engaged, present, loving partners who as this crises hits completely go into a very strange, disconnected and narcissistic state. Some come out (my wife is already showing amazing signs of returning to her former self), some never do, and some keep cycling back and forth.
But in both cases they ARE responsible for their behaviour, the pain they cause is INCREDIBLY real, and so are the consequences. And the steps to protect oneself is the same too.
