Still trying in a hopeless(?) situation...

[joejoe1]

State,

I want to get in depth, but I like keeping my post short and to the point. I'm a very direct person, I have worked on being more emphatic going through this process.

So, what I will tell you is, you mentioned being 90% sure she didn't cheat. IMO either you are 100% or 0%. You don't know what your W has done. But you know she has been involved with OM. You know you was suppose to go and your W told you not to come at the last minute.

So, if I were you I would not worry about what your W might or might not be doing with OM because, there is a unknown and as long as there is at least 1% you will always wonder about that 1% and say to yourself, "What if".

What you do know is your W is WW. Lets go from there. You need to approach your W and your M like you are dealing with a WW. You do know you W is not committed to being M.

If you are cleaning please do if because it needs to be done and not because you are trying to get your W back. Stop being super LBS and become super STATE. Start working on yourself more. Congrats on the 15 pound weight lost, keep it up. Get some new clothes and get out and meet new people and reestablish old relationship with friends (males).

Your W is not ready to recon on work on the M. You have to start being honest with yourself and about your Sitch, so you can make the right decisions and move forward in the right direction.

You are doing good. In these Sitch, when fall and keep getting back up.

Keep posting.