These are the situations I struggle with. I never know what to say in the heat of the moment. I know I need to let her fall, but I'm always confused on how to respond or deny help without looking like a jerk....
Admittedly not my strong suit either. SO I will let others offer guidance. However, being a jerk and looking like a jerk are two different things. One you control (being a jerk). Looking like a jerk is up to those that observe you, and you can't control that. You could do everything right and should could still see you as being a jerk. That's not your problem.
So my suggestion? Let her fall in the most unjerklike way you possibly can. Be detached, lovingly. Validate when she contacts you to complain and vent. Go back and read the threads on detachment and validation. Study them. Have the information in them at the ready.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
