dmoy, would it be safe to say you are a very reactive person? As in if someone pushes you, you push back? If someone disses you you diss back? If someone insults you, you insult back?
I am the same way, that is why I recognize it in you. That is why you are doing this passive-aggressive "hey're getting dropped off tonight and I'm not even going to get out of the car." Is that really the reaction that will get you ahead?
You should have validated when she texted you: "nd pushed for me to drop off and not hang out because she perceives that as the source of the problems." You should have responded with a validating response (see the sticky on validation). If she responded to validation, validate again.
Tonight when you drop the kids off, go in. Say goodnight to them. And leave in a timely manner. She'll be the one that deals with the fallout from the kids not getting their normal routine. Don't be angry. Don't be pouty. Don't be passive-aggressive. Interact with her the way you normally do, but read the thread on detachment and put it into practice.
I think you'll get more mileage out of DBing than you will out of being passive-aggressive and reactionary.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
