You will get there......outside of sex (I will admit she looked hot last night) I don't feel that I am missing out on anything that my W has to offer. She hasn't changed, she is still the same person, I don't see that her life is so great, I don't see her growing as a person which is why I don't harbor those feelings. I am sad for my kids but that is about it.
If you are really honest with yourself where you truly happy in your MR? Now you might have been willing to stick it out etc. but if your W never changed and didn't want to work on the issues you had would you have filed for D and walked or would you have stuck it out for your kids? I would have stuck it out but knowing what I know now I should have voiced my concerns to her vs just accepting things as is.
Unfortunately no one owes us anything.....I am a firm believer that this happened to me for a reason and I am a better man for it. My EW is the big looser in all of this. She did me a favor as I have learned things that I would have never learned before. I have grown in ways I never thought possible.....
Just remember you don't want marriage 1.0 back you want marriage 2.0 but that means she is willing to do the work as well. That work will probably not be done on your timeline. It might take D to make it happen. It might mean that it takes her to experience some harsh realities of living a dating life. Maybe some dude does her dirty and that causes her to realize that M wasn't that bad after all. By then M has a beautiful lady by his side, has moved on with his life and maybe the prospects of her getting her back don't matter. Maybe M realizes that she is the love of his life and they reunite.
The dating life for a single lady with two young kids can't be that easy......the amount of quality men out there that are available is pretty slim. She is not only dating for herself but she also has to picture that man with her kids as well and trust me you as the children's father will be the barometer. Most dudes are d-bags and at my age most of them look twice their age and have not done the work we have. I had a lady tell me last week I looked 38.....I was like cool I will take it
My own ego tells me that my W will never find anyone better than me. My ego also tells me that she knows better than to introduce some d-bag to me or my kids. That if/when she does she better be able to do it and look me square in the eye with confidence not look the other way or look down. She knows, trust me she knows.
This is how I can have my EW come over to the house so my kids can celebrate her birthday. I know who I am, where I am going and am totally confident and comfortable in that setting. Besides it's my house if she doesn't like it she can get the f out Her name is no longer on the deed This is being true to who I am and for me it shows my strength that I can be in her presence with no expectations and it shows my girls that daddy is not an angry SOB.
I also understand she could have picked up some dude last and they were banging all night long. Whatever......I guarantee you he doesn't have anything on me
