If you'll recall, she had changed plans last minute for her to go out on her own about 3 hours away to see her nephew being born. The man she had been having an affair with lives about 2.5 hours further past that, so I was worried he would have travelled to see her. I'm about 90% sure she didn't see the other man, but I can't be 100%. She didn't call much, but lots of posting on social media from the hospital and calls while she was with her family. Didn't seem to be much room to see the other man.
Since then, things have been ok. Not great. Our daughter broke her arm, so that's been a focus of ours. The other night as we were tucking her into the bed my wife is sleeping in, we were both being a little silly with my daughter and my wife leaned over and kissed me. That just doesn't happen these days and it was amazing.
But at the same time, it's the little things. She has gone out a couple times with friends. Both times she said she wouldn't be long, but it ended up being about 2-3 hours. Seeing as the other man is about 5-6 hours from us, I don't think he's here, but she could be using that time to talk to him.
A couple months ago she claimed she was "all-in". But it just doesn't feel it. Her style with dealing with conflict is to avoid it, and that may be what's happening here. She isn't the type that would want to go to therapy or work to try to improve the relationship.
Maybe she thinks it can mend itself over time. I don't know.
But today something happened that hurt. And it's likely going to sound a little ridiculous.
My wife loves her country music. We have Amazon Unlimited music apps on our phones, so I can see what her playlist is...
And today I noticed a bunch of new music added recently.
Songs like...
Break Up With Him Up All Night I'll Wait for You Butterflies You Make It Easy This Time Around Nothin' Like You Just Got Started Loving You Diamonds or Twine
Essentially, a ton of songs about new love, or breaking up with someone, or hot, sexy love... which is the opposite of us right now.
I so desperately want to say to her tonight --- "tell me, do you still want this to work?"
But I know I just need to keep doing my thing. Focusing on me and the kids and doing my responsibilities around the house.
