My thoughts are that the only way you could have handled your sitch was as you did.
I understand that's not easy, that is largely because of trauma bonding. Just a quick explanation on this, we bond in childhood to parents as a result of our dependency on them for food, warmth and safety. We are rewarded by that bonding with love and nurture (if our parents or parent substitutes are healthy of course).
Our minds are structured to create those bonds, thus heavy emotional content creates bonding. That can be positive (such as love, care, celebration and joy) or negative (such as anger, blame, disparaging and sadness). We can't tell the difference.
That bond is like a dissociative state, we are incomplete without it. I call it the lost boy syndrome (as in Peter Pan). It is temporary.
NC is the only way to stop the lost boy syndrome (and boy includes both genders). It breaks the trauma bond eventually.
Do be careful as the type of abuse in your sitch can be destabilising, causing flashbacks and c PTSD. This may want you to recreate the familiar, the trauma bond. Being love bombed by an abuser can sweeten the bond and make it stronger.
It is a really tough gig, one of the toughest of all. Because it is unfair and makes little sense.
You did not make this dingbat W cheat nor cause her to lash out. She is entitled and loves being abusive. Know you are a good man, a kind and loving one and this is not on you.
I am here to listen to you. I have this T shirt and am waving to you that there will be a time when you reach the land of Meh and Neh.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
