Advice on my scenario pt. 2

[OrangeK]

Makia,

Detachment - My Achilles heel.
I am trying my rear off to accomplish this, and its SO HARD.

GAL - Not as much of a challenge.
I have been GALing for some months now and it is a huge help.

I literally MEDITATE on detachment on a daily basis and it isn't helping. I am confident that if her and i were interacting i would be able to keep my cool unlike in the past. I feel like id be in control and handle the situation well.
Its the internal struggle that challenges me, i live in my own head, with the exponentially growing crowd of What If's and other useless speculative crap.

I feel like im going to burn through my own skin with rage.
I tell my boss (who has been hugely understanding of this whole mess) that i need to go "Cool the Lava" when im feeling angry about all this at more, and i go out in the warehouse and do pull ups.


Moral of the story; Everyone preaches "Detach" "become indifferent", "let go" or "forget about her"
Id love to.
Here the $1,000,000,000 question.
HOW?!

I've been literally trying to TRAIN MY BRAIN to leave her out of it.
I admittedly don't MISS her or PINE for her like i had been, and i have a full conscious understanding that what we had was likely false, and is dead and gone. The woman I married doesn't exist.
Its the loss of what i THOUGHT i would have for the rest of my life, the feelings i THOUGHT we shared, that I cant seem to let go of.

So many people have told me "this is a blessing disguise., you are young, soon this wont even matter to you"
i wish i could believe that.
Because of how young we are i feel like i just lost more.
All the t