Finding Solutions, Not Distractions..

[Coconut]

There may be too many red flags for you to handle right now. 4 kids at home, medical conditions that cause for social issues....

and I think there's more, at least she said there was more at my party but didn't expand.

This is what I was saying, WTF? Men seem to go gaga over these woman who have "baggage" and "issues"

I don't think that's the case, I was gaga over her before I knew of the baggage (except I did know she had kids, but how old and how many I didn't).

A big part of why I stopped talking to witty was her baggage, but if she had been as attractive as I built up in my mind, who knows, maybe it would have been different. I have a hard time figuring out why my mind works the way it does, much less explaining it.

I will say this though, if a girl needs saving, it may create a feeling that the playing field is more level. In general, I (as a guy) think the woman have a huge advantage, which is caused by aggressive guys constantly approaching, complementing, going after her.

I don't think girls have to work as hard to be desirable, so when there is baggage they may not seem to have such an advantage and more obtainable. Even gg made a comment at dinner that when you end it with a guy another guy just seems to slide right in to his place, most guys could not make that statement about girls.

The other day I was watching a comic, he did a routine about girls not thinking it's fair that a guy who sleeps with a lot of woman is considered a Stud, but a girl who does the same thing is considered a Slut. He went on to say for a guy to do it, he has to be attractive, have a great personality, charm, some money to pay for the outings, but for a girl to do it she just has to be present, so it's easy for her.

I know that is not always the case, but looking big picture, it's what I see in the world.

Is it a physical attraction that has you so into her? What is that makes you so interested?

In this case, absolutely, I am attracted to her. I've really only had two LTR, one was a girlfriend for about 5 years, the other was my ex. Here's the thing, that girlfriend, my ex, and GG have the same physical traits. Primarily petite blondes. because GG is what is obviously my "preferred" look, I'm a lot more forgiving. Although I really want to focus on a lot more for a LTR, I am willing to put up with a lot more spend time with her for the short time. FWIW, we have not talked about what we each want, so I have no idea what she is looking for.

I am curious, trying to figure out the way a guy's mind works, because I have no clue.

If I knew a way to tell you I would, and hope that you would return the favor. Ultimately, I think Vanilla's strategy would be most effective for you, just strike up conversation with every guy you see that you would like to go out with. I can tell you this, 99% of guys don't care what you say if you start talking to them.

Also, How long have you been doing these meet-ups? It's only been a few weeks, right? I mean, how close is this friend really?

I met gg on 2/5, and I started hanging out with the singles group on 2/13. the definition of close friend is relative, since prior to meeting them I didn't know anyone in town. They are my best friends that I see in person on a regular basis. We spend a lot of time with just us 5, dinners, hanging out at each others houses, as well as texting between us all and phone calls. I don't have history with them, but I've had at least one deep conversation with each of them, some of them more, and have shared personal things about me that I don't just bring up with acquaintances.